For this assignment you will be editing/rewriting an essay I have written on Salome by Oscar Wilde, illustrated by Aubrey Beardsley. My
instructor provided feedback and I will be providing it below. Be sure to adresss every comment.
Initial prompt and guidelines
Prompt: Read Salome by Oscar Wilde and illustrated by Aubrey Beardsley. Take one or two of Beardsley’s images and analyze how they
interpret the play or, more specifically, the character of Iokanaan or of Salome. Using the illustrations consider the play’s somewhat
vexed homosexuality and wether Beardsley’s designs represent a visual language that complements and corroborates the play’s meanings or not.
Guidelines:
6-7 pages, double spaced, MLA format
Clear thesis statement
Remember this is for a doctorate level course, the paper should use rich vocabulary and be written at a high level. Your arguments should be developed and strong.
Consistent use of textual evidence to support your arguments and claims. Textual evidence should be frequent and evident. No paranthetical citations! Only direct citations.
The essay should have a clear introduction and conclusion. Transitions should be present to move from paragraph to paragraph.
No personal pronouns allowed! This essay is written in third person. The use of I, we, they, are not permitted. The essay should not be concious of itself, example “In this essay I will explore” that phrasing is not allowed.
Remember this is a doctorate level paper! The thinking should be deep, critical and developed. The more textual evidence the better!!!
Instructor feedback to address:
1. Work on thesis. Make a direct claim about the relationship between B’s illusts. and a specific aspect of W’s play. Focus on how the illusts interpret the text. You do say that they “reflect the contentious homosexual themes of the play,” but this is too passive. You’ll need to move beyond a statement of themes. Also, I can’t find a rationale for including two illusts in your argument. This pairing gets you into trouble with organization and puts pressure on you to find persuasive transitions between the discussions of the two images. Cut the toilette?
2. Start first by discussing and analyzing the play rather than mingling the illusts and the play throughout. This is hard on the eye. If your topic is homosexuality, start by establishing how Wilde treats the subject in the text. Then move to the images. This will help the overall organization of your essay which at this point is jumbled.
3. Avoid a listing of various interpretations of the illusts (e.g., “Another interp. of B’s climax image involves …”). Focus on developing a single, persuasive argument about how the illust addresses and “reads” the play or the particular scene or the character of Salome.
4. On p. 4, no transition to the image of the toilette, no rationale for its treatment. Another possible reason for dumping it?
5. Always cite page numbers for quotes and illusts. Also give the title of illusts, which you’ll find on the Contents page.
6. Clean up prose, especially toward the end.